Uncertainty in the worth of marriages grows stronger each year. Many couples are uncertain if their marriage is heading in the right direction. They are unaware of the healthy signs of a good marriage. However, couples who are happy in their marriage understand that a good marriage must be nurtured on a daily basis. These couples apply the necessary skills to keep their marriage heading in a positive direction, regardless of the distractions that may attempt to creep in through outside challenges such as the common stresses of life, including family members, finances.
Belief in the Worth of the Marriage
You can know if your marriage is thriving or heading in the right direction by looking at a number of things that are occurring between the two of you. The first thing both of you must decide is whether or not there is a strong belief in the worth of your marriage. When this is clarified, a marriage can overcome every obstacle that tries to upset the stability of its union. When problems come up, these issues are discussed and resolved with the full awareness and effort of both parties. Strong belief in the strength and worth of the marriage is the first cue that the marriage is working. Uncertainty is dangerous in the beginning of a marriage. Many couples often doubt whether their marriage will survive the first major argument. However, it must be remembered that it takes two willing and mature partners to reconcile differences.
Positive Flow of Communication
Open and honest communication must be occurring in the marriage at all times. If one partner is hiding something from the spouse, most likely the secret will come to the surface if it is not soon resolved. And depending on what it is, this could cause major problems such as bitterness and distrust. Once honesty and trust goes out of a relationship, it will take some serious time to regain these important principles of loyalty. But when two people are honest about the emotional, physical or financial issues that arise, it is a good sign that the marriage is becoming stronger. Of course, there will be disagreements, as with any marriage, but these can be worked through and overcame.
Pushing Each Other’s Dreams Forward
This is a quality that is very important for couples to execute in their marriage. What weakens many marriages is the lack of support a wife or husband might have for a spouse who is pursuing a dream that will inspire within her a sense of joy, confidence and self-esteem. But even if one partner has absolutely no interest in what the other partners is attempting to achieve, he should be extremely supportive for the sake of inspiring happiness in the his spouse. Many couples criticize and discourage the dreams of the other, usually due to selfish motives. For example, I have known several couple who struggle with this issue. Often the husband doesn’t want his wife to gain an iota of independence for fear of her no longer needing him and running off with a another man. On the other hand, there are wives who don’t support their husband’s dream for fear that it may not be enough to meet financial needs and expectations. However, this kind of thinking is destructive to a marriage. It weakens the sense of trust and reliability between two partners.
But if you desire to see his dreams come true as passionately as you would your own, then your marriage can bloom to new levels of discovery.
Laying Aside a Judgmental Attitude
Nothing else can eat away at the strength of a marriage than a critical attitude. If one partner is always criticizing the faults of the others, respect and intimacy go out of the window and resentment builds unto the point of a serious augment or fight. This is why acceptance of the other’s miner faults is the key. In a marriage, a couple’s priority should be to make each other feel accepted regardless of lingering faults and weaknesses. In fact, in any marriage that desires to be strong, the goal of the couple should be to help increase the confidence and self-esteem of one another whenever the opportunity arises. However, I am not talking about accepting destructive faults such as drug abuse, alcoholics, or verbal or physical abuse. These are serious problems that go beyond mere miner human faults. If these become a problem in the marriage, they must be addressed quickly or the relationship is in danger of ending in disaster.
But such faults as leaving dirty clothing on the floor, snoring in bed, tendency to over spend or lapse in decision making must be settled in order for a marriage to be strong. Couples with winning marriages have come to accept the other’s blemishes. This should be done long before the relationship is called a marriage. Usually, while dating a couple will have the opportunity to decide whether or not the person setting across the table is the right one for them. When two partners are secure in this area of the relationship, then the marriage is ready to flourish and grow in a positive direction
Freedom to Be Independent
In a marriage where each partner allows the other to live as an independent moral agent, a unique bond is created that is seldom attained by the majority of relationships. Most relationships are sustained by some degree of emotional attachment or co-dependency. If trust is not strong in a relationship, then suspicion and jealousy might lead to psychological or even physical bondage. In this case, uncertainty is a big problem and must be resolved. When one partner is insecure with the independence of the other, then growth is stymied. Therefore, a sense of freedom must play a significant part in a marriage that is growing in strength and affection.
Daily Demonstration of Affection
Giving and receiving affection on a daily basis keeps the sense of intimacy and mystery strong in the relationship. Saying “I love you “and embracing in the morning before work and saying “how was your day when you both arrive home after work goes a long way in showing the value of the relationship and the tender loving care you have for one another. A relationship without the display of affection is a sign of trouble. One of the reasons for marriage is the passion to become one with your partners by displays of intimacy. When the desire of holding hands, hugging, kissing and sexual intimacy begins to weaken, the marriage must be revitalized.
Revitalization requires creativity. The goal is the spark romance. Many winning marriages experiment with a number of activities, such as investing a romantic vacation, or buying a new set of lingerie that stimulates strong desire, or playing intimate music that arouse the imagination. A sense of newness can play an important role in creating more intimacy and affection in the marriage. Engaging in activities such as intimate role playing allows each person to entertain a specific fantasy of the other. Remember, the demonstration of affection is a sign that oneness between the two of you is becoming stronger.
Enthusiasm Regarding Shared Goals
A strong marriage is empowered when both partners are enthusiastic about shared goals. When a couple joyfully set life-changing goals and achieve them together, the sense of oneness is increased. Growing as a couple requires doing fun and exciting things together. Setting goals is one of these. When a couple set goals for a new home, a new car, a new career or for their first child, these decisions should be celebrated right then. On the other hand, if one partner has no desire to set goals or avoids making significant commitments with the other, the marriage is possibly in trouble. Uncertainty in regards to the motive of the other becomes a concern. In this case, such issue must be addressed in order to determine the status of the relationship.
Harnessing Healthy Relationships
When a couple has a circle of healthy relationships, their marriage is enhanced. Sooner or later being around the same person day in and day out will possibly create boredom. However, other relationships included in a marriage can enrich the lives of all involved. For example, because marriages can be, at times, very challenging, we need other couples within your life that will provide opportunities to share ideas and resolve marital issues. Each couple can act as an encouragement to the other by modeling values that create successful marriages. Life becomes much more joyful and satisfying when couples have others to do fun things with.
Sustaining Sufficient Financial Resources
Because of income struggles the quality of a marriage will suffer. Not having the necessary finances to keep a marriage strong is a major obstacle for tens of thousands of marriages. The reason sufficient income or personal resources is important is due to the cost of building safety and security in a marriage. For example, if a husband cannot support his wife or give her the things she desires, then this inability can become a source stress and instability. Providing shelter, food, clothing and fulfilling the needs of a wife and children will usually falls on the shoulder of the husband. If he cannot provide these essentials for his family, he will be under constant pressure and perhaps feel small. Many husbands become addictive to alcohol and drugs because of the stress of not being able to meet his family needs. Therefore, before marriage, a couple must seriously assess the potential financial situation and how it will affect their relationship in the marriage. Studies show that inadequate family income destroys thousands of marriages every year. Couples may attempt to make it work with every ounce of their strength but the problem of lack and limitation is too stressful to continue the union.
Pursuing a Purpose beyond the Marriage
Having purpose that goes beyond a marriage gives a marriage more significance. Standing up for a cause that is bigger than both of you can bring a new level of satisfaction to the marriage. For example, when a couple stands up for the rights of others and challenge such issues as domestic violence, child abuse, negligent healthcare and multiple other social or spiritual deficiencies , they grow in confidence and this confidence increases the couples value to society as well as the quality of their marriage. I know some of the happiest couples who are involved in causes that are greater than themselves. Their marriage grows stronger year after year. In addition, others look up to them as role models and difference makers in the community.
A strong marriage is built on the constant application of certain principles without distractions. When couples possess a strong determination to face and overcome the rough spots of their marriage journey the union becomes stronger and the couples grow in strength and maturity. When such principles are neglected the uncertainty in the relationship jeopardizes trust and honesty.