Getting close with another person means to become one in mind, heart and soul in order for freedom of expression to occur. We are have trouble being authentic in sharing many aspects of our lives because we haven’t fully come to trust our friend or spouse. However, when a sense of oneness has been fully developed we are able to express both positive and negative aspects of our personality without being judged or condemned.
Going beyond Hello can be risky for many people who have been hurt by failed relationships. There may be a deep sense of abandonment or fear of rejection. Many of us may have gone to a divorce or have known some couple whose relationship was super chaotic, resulting in hurt, harm or danger to one or both parties.
But one of the biggest mistakes in relationships is to hold back from intimacy just because you fear getting hurt or used by others. People break off great connections because they fear if they get too close to the other person, they will get their heart broken. Unwilling to take chances, their lives consist of maintaining shallow relationships
However, the choice to stay shallow is dangerous if you desire happiness in life. If we avoid the value of intimacy we will spend our lives in loneliness and defeat. We will never know how to give and receive true love. A life of misery is a life absent of love.
5 Ways to Get Close to Others
There are many ones to get close and become one with people, but five of the most popular ones embrace all the rest.
Open Consistent Communication Channels
If there is a single most important aspect of getting close with someone it is the willingness to open up and maintain consistent communication channels. Talk to the person everyday if possible. The choice of going several days without contacting a potential friend or lover always goes against the development of oneness. With smartphones, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram dominating social media, there is simply no excuse for not communicating on a daily basis.
Establish a Pattern of Quality Time Together
Spending time together accelerates growth in relationships. You get to know the thoughts and dreams of the other person more intimately when both of you are together. You get to see the facial expression of the other; you get to see how he or she responds to certain occurrences; you get to know the other person’s fears, faults and attitude toward life.
Spending Quality time together also includes going places together. Deep bonding occurs when you and a partner go to special places where both of you can have an opportunity to share thoughts and feelings. Going to art museums, theaters, park festivals and lake front walks go a long way in creating memorable moments in which people become well acquainted with another person. So visit these places and others like them on a regular basis.
Long distance travel together also creates closeness. Going out of town or even out of the country creates a bond that cannot be taken away. I know several people who have traveled to far-away places and have returned transformed. The rich culture and life style of other places gave them an experience that made them see life differently and appreciate life more effectively.
Initiate Random Gift Giving
Who says that you have to wait for a special holiday to arrive before giving a gift to a special person in your life? The truth is that you can give random gifts whenever you think of the other person or see an item that your partner may like. The reason that random gift giving is so effective is because the other person is not expecting it. It is a total surprise and always says’ “I am thinking about you.”
If you establish the habit of giving random gifts, don’t be surprised how quickly you develop a sense of intimacy and oneness with the other person.
Dine together: Enjoy Food and Drink
There is something about eating together, whether it is at a restaurant or at home, that brings people closer. Inviting your partner over for dinner or out for a Sunday brunch will go a long way in driving the relationship toward oneness.
Discover what food and drink your partner prefer and serve him or her with delight, especially if you are inviting them over for dinner. Remembering what others like in terms of food and drink is a bonus for becoming closer.
Be There When Times are Hard
Being there for the other in unfortunate times is one of the best indicators of the closeness of people. When you can be by the side of someone who has fallen ill, experienced a traumatic event or who has lost a loved one, then closeness with oneness has been established.
Many times you will find out who your true friends are when you encounter moments of truth when demands are on placed them to lead some kind of emotional or physical support.
The value of close relationships cannot be overstated. Getting close to others is the prerequisite for a life of fulfillment and one that can make a great difference in the lives of others.