A letter to a Cool Young Man on his first date: to take a young woman out on a date is an opportunity to impress her and to prove that you are the man she can depend on to be the captive of her heart.

If she’s really impressed, she will most likely address you with love, sweetness, and tenderness.  But if she is not impressed with the way you are treating her, you might not even get a good night kiss on the cheek.

A woman’s heart is won by verbal intimacy. Young women are impressed when young men are not afraid to express genuine feelings of love toward them.

However, many misdirected young men feel that they have to exhibit an impression of coolness and toughness by not showing emotions or expressing any vulnerability when it comes to showing a young lady that she is really something special to them.

The misdirected young man must know that some behaviors are forgivable, but others are very destructible and fatal to the potential of the relationship unless major adjustments are made.  So listen up and take the following advice seriously.  Otherwise, you will find yourself lonely.

7 Fatal Dating Mistakes that Will Get You Disconnected Right Away

Acting Aloof

You are not all that.  Be real.  Acting cool and non-responsive half of the time is no way to make an impression.  Attempting to play cool is just a cover-up for insecurity.  So stop this right away. The next time you take someone special on a date, allow them to see the light in you.  Avoid hiding your real self at all cost, even if it embarrassing to you to show your feelings.



All you do talk about is yourself and what you have accomplished or will achieve because you are so much better than others. You pump up you ego throughout the date. But if you desire to get closer to your date you better take the time to realize that you are not the main attraction. She is.

Give her all the attention.  Pump her up. Give her the attention that a queen deserves. She didn’t accept your invitation just to hear about your story.

Too Aggressive

Back off! She didn’t agree to go out with you  just to eat, drink and be merry all away to your house and  spend a night of  passionate activity with you.  Wake up man! This is the first date. Show more dignity in yourself than that.

You are a patience and gentleman.  Your love for her is so magnificent you are willing to wait a few more date nights or longer.


Who do you think you are? You got the nerve to talk about her the way that she dresses or how much weight she carries.  If your affection for her(regardless of how she looks) isn’t one hundred percent neutral, then you should not have asked her out for a date.

Don’t go into relationships attempt to change anyone.  True love isn’t based on the type of clothing someone wears or how they look. Genuine love accepts the admired just the way they appear.

Warning: prepare for a life of loneliness and disappointment if you are looking for a perfect person.  No one like that exists.


Ease up! Relax and enjoy the peace and quietness of being together.  Avoid attempting to impress her by creating trouble on date night.  Don,t try to make something out of nothing when dealing with the people surrounding you.  Be kind. Be gentle.

Displaying calm and self-control when you feel that someone has slighted you is the mark of real gentlemen.  So void arguing with the store clerk or the waiter who forgot your order at the restaurant. If you have to rant, do it as real gentlemen.

Messy Dressy

Don’t you dare take her out with blue jeans on, especially if you are serious about this woman becoming your wife?  Men who go out on first dates wearing tennis shoes or ungroomed facial hear and nappy beards are showing how much they really care about the lady they are attempting to impress.

Such men have one of two objectives:  they think that they are so handsome or good looking that they get a pass on becoming well-groomed or they believe that the only thing that their date is good for is to lie spread-eagle on their back.

Watch yourself.  Some of the women you don’t might have brothers who will gladly take your for the ride of your life if you know what are mean.

Cowardly Acting

You may be one of the guys who don’t fit any of the personalities mentioned above. But you are passive, you are the nice guy.  You treat her like a lady but when the wolf comes into the path, you are ready to split, without her.

This behavior is  cowardly.  Women like to feel secure whenever they are in the company of a man. Insecurity sends them in the other direction, regardless of how tall and handsome you appear to yourself.

Be brave!  Take up for her. Be ready to take the blow, regardless of what that blow may be. Men who run first are ill-prepared for a serious relationship, and certainly unfit for marriage material.

As a life coach, who have also walked this path with regret,  I hope that I have given you young men some useful advice on how to win the heart of the young women you have been admiring for a long time but has been unable to tell her this.

My further advice is to not to wait too late.  Open Up. Make it known to her that you will love and can’t do without her.  Otherwise, some other young man who is in touch with his emotions just may cause you to lose a good thing.