Thoughtful preparation is a necessity for finding a successful date. Good dating can be an oasis of joy, pleasure, and fantasy. Alexander Pope quotes, “They dream in dating, but in wedlock, they wake.” But a common pitfall in dating is looking for the perfect person, an attitude that has resulted in disappointment millions upon millions of time.
Attempting to find the perfect successful date is a lack of understanding human nature. No single person on the face of the earth is without flaws, not matter how tall, dark, handsome, or stunningly beautiful in appearance they may appear. All of us know family members and friends who sailed into a relationship expecting to live happily ever after, only to be disappointed because Mr. or Mrs. Right didn’t live up to the idealized image expected of them.
Our idealized image of a person may take a blow when we find out a number of unpleasant things about him or her; such person may be:
- • Living with their mother
• Not tall, dark and handsome
• Always reminding you of your shortcomings
• Too nice and submissive
• Lacking in romantic approaches
• Insensitive to your thoughts and feelings
• Unavailable whenever you need them
• Unemployed with an automobile to pick you up
Consequences of Perfection Seeking
Accepting the fact that no one is perfect is the beginning of good dating. Lovers who stubbornly cling to the idea of perfection will mostly likely find themselves in many negative situations, including:
- Indecisiveness in choosing a comparable mate
- Constant headaches and break-ups
- Judging and condemning their dates for awkward actions
- Believing that all the good ones are taken
- Disappointment at the discovery of a partner’s flaws
Falling into the above traps will always keep an individual single and unhappy regarding their love life. The way to escape these mental traps is to identify what’s really important inside the other person. The inner beauty of a person will never fade away. But outer beauty is a temporary thing. Time has a way of eventually distorted the glory of our youth.
Knowing what to look for
Those who are prepared for the dating game knows exacted what to look for in a potential lifetime partner, including such things as intimacy, sensitivity, availability, reliability, trust, honesty, a sense of responsibility and independence for both partners. For women, a sense of security and safety while with a partner is very important. These are the qualities and characteristics that produce long and lasting dating as well as marriages.
Preparing the Smart Way
If you are looking for a Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you are probably unprepared for dating. Enrolling in a good relationship seminar or dating program will enlighten you on what is most importance in any union between people. The awareness that no one is perfect, including yourself, is good preparation for any relationship.
The Delight of Dating
Those who are in involved in good dating are familiar with change. Good dating requires both persons to get out of themselves and serve the other. This may include buying gifts for one another that we would not ordinarily buy, dressing differently than we would not ordinarily
dress, and acting in a way we would not ordinarily act, such as hugging, kissing, whispering and walking in the park on a beautiful fall day. There is a feeling of warmness, excitement, passion in the presence of the other person. This is how good dating changes us who are prepared for it.