Physical distance in marriage has now become a normal and sometimes unavoidable reality in today’s society. Soldiers go off to military duty, leaving the spouse and children behind.
Business people travel across the nation every day, sometimes staying entire weeks away from home on a consistent basis. The same applies for truckers who haul goods across the country. Government diplomats and ambassadors make long trips overseas and are sometimes gone for months. The list is almost endless. Some couples stay in entirely different nations.
In such times as these, the physical distance in marriage is necessary in order to make a living. Many careers require that families endure long periods of time away from one another. It is not a pleasant choice for the participants in most families but the reality must be dealt with if marriages are going to survive.
The dangers of long Distance Relationships
Many dangers attack a marriage when physical distance becomes an issue. Loneliness is one of these dangers. The longing to be close to another is human nature. When couples live far apart, the need to be with someone special may grow intense.
If a spouse doesn’t have a strong family support unit or a group of caring friends, the spirit of depression can easily set in. Each day brings little joy. Before long health issues may become a factor. Alcohol and drugs may become an escape from reality until an individual is caught up in a web of addiction.
Temptation is another factor. Long distance love cannot take the place of being physically present for one another. The good looking handsome man and the attractive blond in the next apartment or the charming co-worker or the flirtiest friend of the opposite sex begin to spark the imagination with an unwelcome appeal.
Sometimes the temptation happens at the wrong time and in the wrong place, leading to a highly regrettable mistake.
The old adage “out of sight out of mind” can become a reality and often do. The long distance apart saps the intimacy right out of the relationship, especially if the spouse is surrounded by many attractive and interesting people. Many couples find that they have outgrown the other and the thrill is no longer there. These three dangers are a constant threat to long distance relationships.
Tips for Dealing with Physical Distance in Marriage
In order to help your marriage survive the challenge of physical distance, you must keep open communication lines at all cost. There are a number of ways to do this:
Make Frequent Phone Calls
Keep your phone with you at all times. Just a one or two-minute phone call to say “I love you” can make the difference between a good day and a bad day. You can make a quick phone call when the loneliness becomes unbearable. Sometimes hearing the voicemail and leaving a message behind can relieve the pressure of loneliness.
Send a Poem or Letter Every Two Weeks
Nothing can make you feel better than a love note or poem which expresses your steadfast love for your spouse. You can read these time and time again. You can let them pile up and post them on the wall, refrigerator or even the bathroom. In this way, your love one is always speaking to you.
Connect via Twitter or Facebook
Social media has made it possible to keep in constant communication with the person you adore. Tweet as many times a day. (A hundred times if you must). Share precious moments throughout the day. Tune in on Facebook and share pictures of your daily journeys. Show pictures of the kids playing and doing interesting activities. Make your distance lover appreciates the moments you are sharing with him or her.
If a live face to face experience is possible, why not utilize skype. It allows you to connect live with your spouse anywhere across the world. This is wonderful if you have children who are really taking it hard in the absence of their father or mother. Communicating this way will be a refreshing experience for you and the children to look forward to.
Visit often as Possible
Nothing beats the reality of being physically connected to your spouse. Schedule times, if possible, to visit your spouse during the course of a year. This is especially a welcoming treat if you are military personnel who have a family or a diplomat across seas or a professional athlete playing in another country. If your career makes it impossible to visit, maybe you can send for your spouse to spend a weekend or two with you.
Dealing with physical Distance in a marriage or any close relationship can test the very character of your soul. In order to survive, you must make it your top priority to keep the communication lines open. Don’t let it close for one day. The lack of communication can accelerate the attacks of loneliness, temptation, loss of intimacy against your marriage. Couples who thrive in long distance relationships are always finding creative ways to stay in communication.