A good marriage is characterized by emotional and physical intimacy, openness and honesty, a commitment to each other and a shared sense of purpose. Marriages with these qualities will live in harmony and will be an inspiration to family, friends, and neighbors.
However, unrelenting money problems can wreak considerable havoc on a marriage, possibly leading to divorce. The constant living paycheck to paycheck and trying to make ends meet from one month to another place undue stress on two people who are attempting to maintain a sense of intimacy toward one another.
According to the United States Divorce Statistics, 41% of marriages end in divorce. This is nearly half of the marriages occurring in America. No wonder it appears that marriages are no longer viewed as a sacred, inseparable union.
Money problems can occur due to a variety of reasons, including:
- Compulsive spending habits
- Unemployment from self-employment
- Overspending to Support a fancy lifestyle
- Constant state of lack and limitation
- Unwisely Supporting family members
When a marriage begins to get squeezed by one or more of these problems, an important decision must be made or the marriage will continue to go south.
- Intimate time becomes a thing of the past
- Flowers stop coming
- Words of endearment stop being said
- Vacation away with each other stops
- Arguments lead to separate sleeping quarters
Due to financial hardships, many marriages become nothing other than friendships, in which each partner live separate lives under the same roof. The marriage will become a union of outward dishonesty in the sight of family and friends.
Addressing the Issue: Asking for change or separation
Asking for Personal Change
First, acknowledge that difficult decisions must be made if your happiness is the goal in life. Difficult decisions have the power to set use free. If we refuse to address tough issues within our relationships, we will feel trapped in life.
If the financial problem is largely due to your spouse’s compulsive spending habits, and you are willing to work out a solution, ask for a change. Let the other partner know how you feel and what is at stake if the situation continues as it is.
Depending on how much the offending partners appreciates the relationships, he or she might be willing to make an adjustment for the sake of saving the marriage.
Do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Even if it means downsizing every aspect of your life for the sake of getting the finances in order. The effort will certainly be worth it if true love is the foundation of the commitment.
Asking for Separation
If the relationships aren’t working out after serious talks or attempts at change or even failed counseling, then it may be time to make the difficult decision to separate. The act of separation isn’t acted of divorce. The decision to spend time apart for one another is the act of making a statement to the offending spouse that things are not ok and that the marriage is in serious jeopardy of ending in divorce.
Separation takes courage. If things don’t change, the marriage could end in divorce. This the reason many couples continue to dwell in unhappy relationships for fear of never getting back together again. However, they settle for a low quality of life in which they remain servants of unhappiness and fear.
If Your Spouse Leaves You
Don’t be afraid. A marriage may not last forever. If you spouse decides to leave you, although you may feel sad, open yourself up to the newness of life. This is your opportunity to start over and do things the right way. But don’t jump into a new relationship. Take time to reinvent yourself. Enjoy the single life for a while. Experience things you have missed out on. Remember: for those who are happiest in life, endings are always new beginnings.