Building and Sustaining a Beautiful Family Existence-Avoiding Favoritism


When it comes to family leadership, are you the life of the party? If so, you hold the power to foster a beautiful family existence.

Good family relationships can be some of the most enjoyable personal connections an individual can experience and ever hope for. However, showing favoritism toward family members can ruin some of the most formidable unions.

Favoritism is the habit of treating one person with loving-kindness while completely ignoring the worth of the other family member. Such activity stirs up feelings of jealousy, animosity, and perpetual conflict that will eventually involve the entire family.

Tens of thousands of families just can’t stand to be around one another. Children, parents, grandparents, mother and sister laws split up and move miles apart, never endeavoring to foster a sense of reconciliation between one another. It a sad when hidden jealousy and animosity exist due to favoritism toward one family member over another.

To build and sustain a beautiful family existence, you must demonstrate in both speech and action a commitment to unity and equality. As a leader of the family, you are the magnetic role model that the family needs so that it can see the strength of togetherness.


Showing favoritism in speech means giving one family member a constant flow of recognition and love while ignoring the presence of the other. For example, if a father gives one child more attention than he does the other, then he is practicing favoritism toward the other child, thereby creating animosity and conflict.

All people, especially children, desire to be loved equally.



Spending more time, buying more gifts, and hugging one child or person more than the other individual will create conflict. Many children develop a sense of low self-esteem due to one parent showing more favor toward a sister or brother.  Avoid such mistakes.


When family members can dwell in unity, day in and day out, then no person, place or thing can separate them from achieving wonderful things together. Unity doesn’t mean that conflict will never exist. It will from time to time. However, everyone in the family will know and understand that unity must be reestablished without reservation.


When family members understand that everyone in the family is equally worthy of praise, honor, and recognition, each member will have an extraordinary sense of quality.  Therefore, you must be dedicated to a continual, expressive pattern of unity and equality if you desire to sustain and maintain a beautiful family existence.

Fostering Unity and Equality

The first thing you must do to foster unity and quality in your family is to discover if you have been treating one of your children or another family member with preferential treatment. You know the pattern. You compliment one person a ton of things, but you hardly recognize the achievement of the other who accomplishes some of the same things.

Let’s consider a scenario. Little Martha brings home a report card with all As. She has been doing this for a couple of years now. However, Timothy has done something he has never done before, (inspired by Martha), he has brought home a report card with all A’s as well.

However, you don’t express the same level of excitement and passion for Timothy’s achievement as you expressed toward Martha’s accomplishments. As a result, he losses motivation and feels unappreciated.

You must stop this if you are a parent. Whether you have one child or one hundred children, you should embrace each one with love and equality. They should understand that none is worthier of your affection than the other. You put everyone on the same pedestal.

Apologize Openly for Favoritism

The best way to convince people that you are serious about a change of habit is to express your repentance openly. A person who has been inwardly hurt needs a powerful expression of apology gets passed the image of mistreatment.

Don’t be embarrassed by this. Show humbleness. Your goal is to move your family toward a sense of unity and equality so the love and wholeness can prevail.

I knew a woman who apologized to a huge crowd to her husband for showing more favoritism toward her friends. There is nothing wrong with having and loving friends. However, she realized that she didn’t love her husband on an equal basis, giving him the same kind of time and appreciation which she gave to her friends.

avoiding favortism

A difficult Task at First

When you first start building and sustaining a beautiful family existence, the task will be difficult. People have gotten used to being treated a certain way. This is especially true of children. For example, a child may be familiar with being the chosen one among siblings. He or she is used to getting his way on every occasion.

Such child will rebel against change unless you make it clear that excellency in families occur when everyone is happy and when everyone receives equal treatment.  Teach the child that all people are deserving of God’s love and kindness.

Let them know that you are committed to expressing this type of love from now on.

The place of Unity and Equality

True unity and equality cannot exist without some type of spirituality. Religion is the foundation of bringing people together and sustaining them in a body of love and oneness. Therefore, make sure that you and your family members pray and meditate together, especially on Sundays, depending on your form of religion and worship.

A higher power or God can help you sustain and maintain a beautiful family existence if you include Him in your pursuit of family unity.

Creating a strong and powerful family unity takes time but is well worth the investment. Your speech and actions should support your mission destroy divisive favoritism out of your family and create relationships which are beautiful and special.




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