Marriage Life: What Makes a Marriage Fall into Divorceable Routines?


Divorceable routines occur when a marriage is reduced to going to the motions without any sense of passion for the marriage or affection for the partner.

However, the institution of marriage, one of the most powerful unions on the planet, should be marked by a constant state of growth, discovery and excitement.

Nevertheless, a tendency toward neglect will assure that your marriage fall into divorceable routines and as well as uninspiringly dead. When a marriage loses its inspiration, the fire that once kept it filled with indescribable passion goes out.

What makes a marriage fall into divorceable routines is the loss of focus on the sacred union.  Marriages become stagnate because one or both couples abandon the sacred vows pronounced and agreed on during the marriage ceremony: “Love, honor and protect, in sickness and in health, until death does the separation.”

We allow many things to smoother our marital focus, including the lack of financial resources, the negativity of in-laws, and the overwhelming addiction to our profession.  As a result, the priority of putting our spouses before ourselves gets lost in the demands of life.

Financial Squeeze

This is a big one.  Studies prove that more marriages lose their spark due to the constant struggle with finances.  Due to money problems, couples spend time criticizing and blaming one another for the money challenges.

divorceable routines

The best thing to do is to work out a budget and make the necessary sacrifices to get financial matters in order.  You and your partner may need a financial advisor to guide the journey to financial stability.

Meddling In-laws

In-laws, if allowed, can ruin the blissful relationship between a couple just by spreading rumors and stirring up strife about small struggles in the marriage union.  Once a sense of suspicion has been aroused and accepted by one of the married partners, the tension can rise and the relationship gradually crumbles to the point of no return.

Career Obsession

Working until 2:00 Am in the morning, coming home and falling into bed without any communication will surely weaken a marriage. A good marriage thrives on contact, both mentally, emotionally, and physically.

If you are working night and day to be the best in your profession, but neglecting to spend time with your spouse, you are losing anyway, even if you make employee of the month.  Losing the partner isn’t worth it. You may meet the criteria for excellence but loneliness will be your constant companion.


Devorceable Routines are a Recipe for Separation

Each of the above challenges can sap the vitality out of a marriage and send it into a pattern of divorceable routines, a time when couples just go to the motions. The thrill of the marriage is gone.  The temptation to look outside of the marriage for appreciation, love, and excitement intensifies.

Couples may think about cheating or constantly talk about divorce or separation due to the absence of sweetness and romance.

Preventive Solution

Acknowledge that your marriage is in trouble.  Don’t live in denial.  The situation will only get worse.  Divorce has been the result of a couple who refuse to take action to prevent their marriage from becoming boring and falling apart.

Put novelty back into your marriage.  You and your partner may have to seek counseling to help come up with a plan to introduce newness into your relationship.  Trying new and adventurous activity will help eliminate routine and arouse fun and excitement you both once shared at the dating stage of your togetherness.

Enjoy the spirit and soul of the person you once met and loved sharing time with. Commit to the happiness and well-being of each other. Do not allow in-laws, financial struggles or career excellence interferes with your sacred union.

Love can conquer any challenges, resulting in joy, intimacy, and growing romance.



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