Is it fair to rely on first impressions?


Relying on first impressions to determine the quality of a relationship is a big mistake.  No one can know or understand the depths of a person until significant time has been spent together.

Although there may be some exceptions, many people’s first impression of a stranger has been reversed when they experience a deeper level of the person’s character. Even if the relationship works out, it simply means that one or both people have accepted each other flaws or short comings.

Many times what draws us to another person is some aspect of attractiveness which we mistake for the person. However, in reality, a person is not the distinctive expressions he or she makes.  This is only an illusion.

Why First Impressions are an Illusion

One reason for the illusion is that change is a constant. Everything can change and will change, even people, regardless of the degree.

Another reason for the illusion is that people are full of acting. We all want to impress. Therefore, we show people our best selves.  We dress in our best clothing, we talk our best talk, we smile longer and we smell delicious.

After the Game is over

However, many couples we tell you that once the game is over, mainly after marriage, they begin to see the true person, not the person they thought they knew.

Divorce statistics are sky high due to the fact that the person just wasn’t the person she thought she married, vice or versa.  If first impressions were reliable, couples would stay together forever.

Wasting a Good Part of Your Life can be avoided

Therefore, if we rely on first impressions, we risk wasting a good part of our lives in a relationship that is going nowhere. But if we look beyond the illusion of the first impression, we have an opportunity to see the true reality of a person, flaws and all. Then we can make a decision whether or not we want to go into a serious lifelong commitment

Instead of relying on first impressions, make a quality commitment to slow down and get to know a person. Once you experience the flaws, habits, and routines of a person, you can decide whether or not you desire to stay in a relationship with the person.

Getting to know a person takes time. A good idea is to experiment with the relationship one to two years before getting serious, especially in romantic relationships.  Before I got married, I spent 7 years getting to know my spouse.




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