Fighting financial struggle in Marriage and How to Escape the Final Blow


The prolonged struggle to make ends meet and always coming up short on the basic necessities of living can and often does destroy marriages. Seeing others, including family, friends, and neighbors prosper financially while you and your spouse don’t know where the next mortgage payment is coming from can be shameful.

The first thing that suffers from the financially overwhelmed marital situation is the intimacy and romance that made the marriage wonderful in the beginning.  The constant pattern of arguing and blaming one another for the current monetary condition leaves no room for intimate feelings and expressions of romantic passion. Sometimes the tensions can be so thick that couples may begin sleeping separately.

In many of these financially stricken marriages, the threat of separation and divorce is always up in the air. This is the final blow to most marriages that are in such economic predicament.

Money problems in marriage are a killer. Arguments can break out at any time or at anyplace due to growing resentment over the worsening situation.

What‘s Next for a marriage that is reeling due to a prolonged financial crisis?

A couple must confront the crisis before it is too late.

Studies show that many Americans are living beyond their means. With the exception of medical problems or natural disasters, many couples, especially younger couples, get into financial crises due to unwise spending or poor money management. Such poor spending patterns must be eliminated if a good marriage is going resurrected out of financial disorder.

couple in love

Obviously, if a couple wants to save their marriage, some critical decision making must be done without much delay.  Indifference to the negative state of your marriage could eventually lead to separation or divorce.

Couples who desire to save their marriage have two options for getting the relationship back on track:

Self-Directed or Professionally Guided Option

The self-directed option is an attempt by the couple to work things out themselves. Each person commits to staying the course until the financial crisis is resolved.  The other is to be professionally guided by a financial advisor.  In addition to recommended strategies for getting out of debt, such a person can offer practical suggestions for gaining control of the financial situation.

But for the purpose of this message, I will emphasize the self-directed approach, having experienced the situation myself as well as the observation of significant others who have overcome money problems. In addition, the self-directed approach is for couples who are dedicated enough to come out of debt by themselves.

To get the marriage out of hot water, the first move is to make the decision to get out of debt. Both partners must set down and make this a priority.  The goal should be to get out of debt and stay debt free.

Getting Started On the Debt Free Journey: Three Prerequisites

Getting started begins with attitude cleansing. Inner searching and releasing must be done before a couple can effectively work together on such a significant personal project.  So, to forgive one another and release blame and resentment is the first step.  Acknowledge that it takes two to people to be in conflict.

Make a commitment to hang in there with one another until the end. Going through such trials and tribulations and obtaining victory will strengthen the bond of love between two partners.

Express gratitude for the things that you already possess.  There are always people in more dire straits than you are. Be thankful that you have each other and that both of you have an opportunity to become debt free together, not apart.

Release routines detrimental to Good money management

Begin by gathering all expenses and recording all spending as well as receiving professional and personal income.

USA Today states that “The average American household carries $137,063 in debt, according to the Federal Reserve’s latest numbers.”  The issue is staggering.

A marriage couple needs to determine the places where they can eliminate wasteful or unnecessary spending. Sacrifices are called for when attempting to get out of debt.  Letting go of 80% of the money- oriented entertainment should be a priority.  Finding ways to experience pleasure without money is a call for intelligence and creativity.

Pay your bills. Pay your credit cards off and all unnecessary money grabbers.

Once unnecessary spending is attacked at all levels, financial goals should also be set. Clearly money which is designated to pay bills must be separated from money (regardless how small) that will be saved for future goals. The idea of having $50 in a savings account is better than having nothing in an overdrawn checking account.


Enjoy the Commitment to Getting Out of Debt

Enjoy the journey out of debt. Cherish the moments when milestones are reached. Celebrate them. Don’t wait until everything is perfect.

Great things await couples who can get control of their financial situation.  Persona financial authority, optimal quality of living, and stress-free interaction with the person you love are only a few of the benefits of becoming debt free.  The inner freedom that comes with having all the bills paid with additional money in the bank is a dream finally realized for couples who save their marriage from overwhelming money problems.

The Big Acknowledgement

The sacrifices of getting out of debt aren’t easy. Deep rooted, pleasurable routines that consume thousands of dollars a year must be eliminated.  Some couples never make it out of a personal debt crisis. Therefore, their marriage continues to struggle for relevance.   Commitment and perseverance will be the weapons of financial deliverance.

Beware of Personal Connections

Marriage couples who have come out of the debt that was destroying their marriage stayed away from negative people, regardless of the relationship.  Instead, they hung around positive people who encouraged their commitment to becoming debt free.

Refuse to let the pressure of a financial crisis destroy your marriage. Beat debt and set your relationship free from the captivity of a limited and unhappy existence.

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