How to Prevent Sibling Rivalry from Destroying family Structure


The intention of sibling rivalry is to destroy the strength of a potentially strong family and to dishonor the parental competencies of fathers and mothers. Strong families are dedicated to promoting the dignity of one another without reservation.

However, sibling rivalry casts a family into a state of emergency by taking peace out of the home, eventually affecting the community. Because prosperous communities are grounded in great family situations, we can understand how bad or dangerous neighborhoods exists. Brokenness in families results in chaotic communities.

A home is supposed to be a place where family members can come and feel accepted, protected and safe from the hurt, harm and danger rooted in society. Without a strong home life, the world appears to engulf us into its chaos and loneliness. Although we may have family acknowledgement, we feel isolated and unsupported.

Why Siblings Rival One Another

The number one reason has to do with the degree of attention giving to one or the other. The biblical Cain and Abel were the first recorded family situation involving sibling rivalry. It appeared that the quality of the attention Abel was getting from God was far more superior than the attention giving to Cain.

Everything seemed to be going Abel’s way. He was happy. He didn’t have to work too hard, yet his estate increased beyond measure while Cain’s possessions stagnated and decreased. Cain became infuriated with jealousy and eventually killed Abel. Siblings are still murdering one another today, either physically or emotionally.

Sibling rival can originate when one sibling is doing better than the other on the social-economic scale in which the progressive individual is getting all the attention from the parents as well as society. I have several friends who feel victimized because they felt another family member was favored above them most of their lives.

The consequences of Sibling rivalry that can spill out into the streets

In a neighborhood, families are always watching one another, whether it is perceived or not. When a sibling’s rivalry is so strong that that sight of a brother or sister is unbearable, then animosity and violence can spill over into the community with public displays of augments and fights that can endanger people in the vicinity.

Brothers have shot brothers dead. Sisters have stabled sisters to death. Sometimes brothers and sisters allow years to pass by before they even speak to each other, if they speak anymore at all.

Preventing Sibling Rivalry

If you are parents, preventing sibling rivalry begins with the process of observing and evaluating how your children relate to one another. In other words, you must give the state of their relationship your undue attention. As long as they are under your roof, promoting sibling unity is an uncompromising responsibility. First, you as a parent, must acknowledge this truth.  The ideal of allowing your teenagers to work out their own problems absent of your intervention is a mistake.  Parents are responsible for raising children to perceive the quality of such children live up to.

Therefore, exceptional parenting is crucial to establishing a strong family structure and preventing sibling rivalry.

Foundation of Strong Values

Establishing strong family values and enforcing these values while children are young is the foundation for unity and strength among siblings.  Such values as:

  • Selflessness
  • Compassion
  • Sharing
  • Discussion and Problem solving
  • Honesty
  • Courage
  • Charity
  • Vision & Goals
  • Quality Decision Making
  • Family privacy

These values will help establish a family foundation in which each person will encourage and empower one another to be the best he or she can be.  Each individual will be progressive because of the equal attention giving to the success of one another.

The ability to be honest and share inner and outer problems each other will help siblings make the right choices when situations need resolving. Compassion and selflessness defeats jealousy and envy.

Parents: Watch Yourselves

While parenting, mothers and fathers must also examine themselves to see how they interact with each child. The major question you should ask is, “Am I giving one child more attention than the other? Do I complement or praise Joey more than I do Janice or Judy, or Jake more than Thomas?”

If you discover that you are part of the problem when it comes to sibling rivalry, you must immediately acknowledge it and change every habit and routine the promote respect of persons. Determine to make it a lifestyle to love each child equally. Refuse to empower one above the other.

As parents, the key to preventing an endangered family structure is to be vigilant in recognizing the emotional state of your children at all times: Ask what is going wrong when you notice lack of communication and avoidance between them.

The bottom line is that you are ultimately responsibility for the way you raise your children. The values you establish and the words you say to them while they are young will lead and guide their lives forever.



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